Who the hell are you?!?

When 2 people meet, there are 3 possibilities:

1. Neither of them know one another, in which case they just walk away without any problems (mostly, I think..)!
2. Both of them know each other and wish/greet/acknowledge their familiarity.
3. One knows the other but the other way.

The third case, I believe, is very common these days, and frequent in my life. At such times when we get to meet or are obliged to make conversation with someone who happens to know us, and yet are strangers to us, what the hell are we supposed to say?

Usually if it’s a relative and I can roughly guess who they are looking at the people around them, I fake an all-knowing-and-understanding smile and talk about general stuff, politely inquire their health/wellbeing and before I get caught, I get the hell out of there. In such places, the words ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’ helps loads!

However, what happens if they just call out of the blue and you happen to pick up the call up? Or they knock on your door when you are alone at home and you open the door?

In the first case, I usually just ask who they are and then if they mock at me about not knowing them, I just make up stories like poor transmission or voice not clear or instrument fault or simply say that I was sleeping before the call!

In the latter’s case, what I tend to do is give a non-committal smile and look at them with polite, yet mild surprise. Smart people who can actually tell that the poor dear standing opposite doesn’t recognize them, they introduce themselves and all will be fine.

Nevertheless, there are also some stupid people, who don’t understand the mind expressions or gestures, and wait for US to initiate. I try asking them very courteously, “Uh.. hmm..Sorry.. But who are you?” Again, people with even a little decency tell who they are, may be some identification, explain some relationship or from where they are. The others, I guess, are just too dumb take the cue. Some (idiots) pose riddles, while others (fools) demand, ”Why? Don’t you know me?”

Now wait a minute! What the F do they think? If I had known who they were, WHY THE HELL WOULD I EVEN ASK’M? Such dumb acts only lower their own dignity and self respect, I say! And to these half-wits, I just can’t help replying with fake-patience-plus-light-sarcasm, “No… No I don’t! So, again, Who are you?!?”

If they still refuse to answer the out-right question, the only possible thing that can be done, is shutting the door on their faces to show that they were definitely not recognized and their dumb-wits were certainly not entertained!!

Wrong Attitude?!?

Navaratri time, loads of relatives to visit. Since I am agnostic (more of an atheist these days), it doesn’t mean much to me. But I usually hate this time of the year.. the whole festival in general; though it’s a pretty vibrant atmosphere with hyper-active people buzzing around various colorful idols and all. There are two main reasons.

When I was young, I was sent to classical music lessons, probably right from when I was three. I used to learn it sincerely, practice it meticulously. As I grew up, so did my self-consciousness. But my parents, being ‘parents’, couldn’t see this, and continuously encouraged me to sing in public, in front of relatives and especially in ‘Navarathri/Dassara’ times when they all met up in everybody’s houses and young girls were made to sing to ‘God’ while they sat around staring at the poor embarrassed creature, commenting about her, her voice, her skills, compare it with every other ‘budding singer’ whom they had come across while the little singing girl would be secretly wishing to disapparate from there and apparate in the North Pole.

Years of experience in such singing-in-front-of-people embarrassment and hundreds of arguments and fights with parents and millions of curses from them, I quit classical music with a lot of hatred and aversion to both singing and Navarathri days and as a bitter disappointment to my parents since I had failed to fulfill their dream! But at least they don’t force me these days since I am much older and I tend not to stick around them much when the old ‘music’ topic is rekindled.

Second reason is stronger these days, which is being with curious gossipy ‘know-it-all’ relatives who judge anyone who thinks differently and bitch about everyone who does not follow their rules. Today’s get-together proved to be enjoyable mostly; until they all started discussing the topic I hate the most- marriages. They were discussing about how one of my cousins, 26 now, was weeping a whole day refusing to take a man’s hand, who was more than 7 yrs elder than her and who wanted her to leave her job here in India and move to US as his ‘house-wife’. Educated male chauvinistic bastard is what I would call him. Then when I started saying that it actually made sense, and that it was her call and people should mind their own business and not emotionally blackmail her, they all started targeting me!

There is a family friend, well educated girl, marrying an American colleague and so all of her relatives are abandoning her and her family. She fell in love with him and decided to tie the knot with him despite the hell of objections because she was so damn frustrated with her religion and caste’s pathetic ridiculous superstitious beliefs in horoscope and her birth-star being unpopular for girls and bringing ‘bad luck’ to the groom and his family and the grooms in her caste demanding 6 lakhs as dowry.

In fact another reason she is doing this is because her life is more comfortable with him than it probably would be with any South Indian, and especially, any guy of her caste. He, being an American, believes that his wife has her own life, understands concepts like ‘privacy’, and most importantly, in sharing daily chores like cooking, washing plates & clothes and cleaning and shopping, and takes equal part in it with pleasure, which most of the guys here would certainly fail to oblige!

To this, my paati(grandmom) went on about how women are responsible for all these and they shouldn’t trouble men with them and how women are born to cook and clean and serve men and how men should be manly and just earn, eat and sleep. When I said otherwise, I realized it was a mistake simply coz I had no one to back me up. I was a single person up against all the stereotype elders who now started sniggering at my ‘attitude’. Finally, I just gave it up when my mom was giving me murderous looks and they too ended with a conclusion that my parents were going to have a really difficult time in looking for ‘a suitable guy’ for me and that when they do find a ‘match’, they should probably not let me talk to him before marriage coz then, I might scare him away with my ‘equality attitude’ and ask him if he knows cooking or likes cleaning and might just never get married!!

And now I am so damn pissed with all this nonsense but decided that all I could do at present was avoid relatives when they start talking nonsense stuff, give up on trying to figure out a way to jump to Jupiter and not worry about my future and simply enjoy House MD!

Cameron: "Men should grow up."
House: "Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not going to happen."

Yeah... I do love him!

Did I Scare Him?

Yesterday I went to a departmental store to get some domestic supplies for mom. My mom usually writes me a huge list, and since I really don’t know the difference between dals (thoram paruppu, kadala paruppu, ullutham paruppu etc all baffle me big time!), I usually handover the list of groceries to a helper in the store.

It is there that I saw Him… a cute guy with a cool French beard, picking up some snacks. I just looked at Him for a second, and He looked back, I picked up a few chocolates, and we both moved on in opposite directions. Then I went to choose soaps and my ‘private’ stuff. There was a mother and a teenage girl, arguing over which brand was better while mom was insisting her daughter to take Whisper. Gosh! Thank God my mom wasn’t this fussy in public over these issues! I would have to kill myself if I were in that girl’s position!

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn’t notice Him coming to the same place, to get His soaps and creams. Yes… creams. I saw Him take a ‘fair-n-handsome’ cream while I was holding my ‘girl-thing’, and before I could put it away, He saw me too, and blushed like a little girl, with cheeks all pink. I thought He might need His privacy and walked away to another section.

After collecting a few other things, I stopped near the razors to pick up one, and had the misfortune of running into Him again there as He was choosing a Gillette! Dear Lord! He turned so red on the sight of me with a pink razor, that I thought His face, neck even ears were just going to burst out! I have always thought that blushing guys look cute, but this was weird!
Before I carry on, let me tell you guys about a habit of mine. In places where I cannot talk or rather choose not to say things or voice out my opinions, I usually say it all inside my head, for my personal satisfaction.

So there He was, turning beetroot red, not knowing how to react, when I, without giving as much of a second glance, walked off without any botheration, telling Him off inside my head, ”Dude! Quit blushing! All women use Whisper and most of them use a razor to remove hair from hands n legs!! Did u really think movie stars were born hairless?!? Seriously, GROW UP! Having a good French beard is not enough, dude! You should also learn to act relaxed and at ease in public in such situations!!”

Finally, when I was standing in the queue in one of the counters with my trolley full, He came and stood behind me with His basket. The moment He saw me, He quickly shifted to a counter farthest from mine. Was He frightened?!? It certainly appeared so! But why? For having seen me buying a Whisper and a razor or for having been caught taking a fair-n-handsome?!? Or… did I actually say those things out loud? Oh NO! I didn’t! No I was sure I didn’t!

Well, I really have no idea what I did to scare the hell out of Him. But it sure was fun watching Him scoop His change and run out of the store clutching the bag like he was clinging to his life!!

A-Z Tag

Thanx a lot Varun, for the award. I am honored!
The rules for this tag are as follows:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Display award on your blog with these rules
3. Reply to the questions below
4. Tag 7 people deserving the award according to you
5. Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com/ and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List

1.The Person who tagged you : Varun
2. Award Displayed above.
3. Seven people I tag are :

Vimal
Karthick
Rya
Sowmya
Vignesh

Harini
Priya

Tag
A – Available/Single? Both :) :D
B – Best friend? Have tonnes n love'em all!
C – Cake or Pie? Cake.
D – Drink of choice? Hot Tea/Chololate/Complan, Cold Lomon Soda/Ice-tea, Coconut water.
E – Essential item you use every day? Mobile, Internet (other than Toothbrush/Soap/Comb etc).
F – Favorite colour? Black, Brown.
G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? Eww.. Neither.
H – Hometown? Chennai
I – Indulgence? fantacy stories (books, movies n series)
J – January or February? Makes no difference to me.
K – Kids & their names? None.
L – Life is incomplete without? Internet (for me).
M – Marriage date? LOLest!
N – Number of siblings? 1 Sister
O – Oranges or Apples? Apples
P – Phobias/Fears? None at large, but may be a little of Atelophobia n Soteriophobia
Q – Quote for today? Don't pity the dead... pity the living.
R – Reason to smile? Lots in general, mainly being with family and friends, cant think of anything else specific currently.
S – Season? Spring
T – Tag 7 People? See above.
U – Unknown fact about me? I love the idea of having pet dogs.
V – Vegetable you don't like? Brinjal, Tomatoes(conspicuous and/or raw)
W – Worst habit? Impatience? .. Cant think of anything specific.
X – X-rays you've had? Stupid Q.
Y – Your favorite food? North Indian, esp Aalu fry with rotis.
Z – Zodiac sign? Virgo

What the hell?!?

Yesterday, I had a very infuriating conversation with my parents. It all started with some stupid Tamil serial, where the parents weep and wail over a couple who run away to get married or something equally stupid.

Dad : This dowry system was so widely prevalent even now in the rural areas, that the girl’s father actually encourages his daughter to run off with a suitable guy, get married and return after a month or so. On their return, he would pretend to be abashed by their act along with the boy’s parents, and eventually both would accept the married couple without lakhs being spent by the bride’s family in wedding customs and dowry. Apparently such cheap and effective ways were used by the couples and/or the girl’s poor parents to avoid the wrath of dowry system.

Me : Well, as at some point, someone had to stop giving dowry one way or another, coz the ones who would get money mostly might not take the initiation. Why... even educated grooms of today still don’t spend a penny or offer to share the wedding expenses from the bride’s parents! A t least most of them don’t, unless it’s a love marriage and the girl has guts enough to make her guy see the right and the wrong and make him ‘be a man’ and share.

This was all I said, no double or triple meaning intended. To these words, my dad gave me a very sarcastic smile, something I had never seen before.

Me: what? You don’t think running away, as easy as it may sound, to be the right solution to dowry problem, is it?

Dad: no.. not that. Personally, I did not take a penny from your mother, and I don’t intend giving anything in your marriage either. But running away of my daughter is something I wouldn’t even think of. The very thought is extremely ridiculous and infact, its funny!

Again, a sarcastic laugh.

Me: Sure! Because you trust me that much, right?

Dad: Not that I don’t trust you, its just that I don’t think you can!

Mom : (giving dad a stern look) He is just joking dear. Just pulling your leg.

Me: WHAT? Why not?!? I could run away iff I wanted to! Not that I do want to…

Dad: naah.. you are not the kind of a girl who could, you know, have a boyfriend. That’s all.

Me: what nonsense! I don’t have one coz I didn’t want to break your trust and coz I chose not to. What makes you think that I ‘can’t’ have one? I just have to wave a hand or give a signal. You’ll have to eat your words then.

Mom(sitting upright): really?!? Why? Is there someone?

Dad : (openly laughing by now) yeah right!

Mom : Who is this boy you are referring to? Is he your college mate? Is he a Christian? Is that why you always, and more often these days, keep praising Christian weddings and how you love them?

Me: Alright! You guys have got to stop your wild imaginations for a sec and listen. No mom, there is no one like that!

Dad : (stops laughing and turns to mom) I am telling you. She is not like that. Now her sister… I wouldn’t put it past her! But she just can’t be like that!

Me: I can’t believe you don’t trust me! You have such a low opinion of me!

Mom : Nonsense! He says so because he trusts you and has a high opinion of you.

Me: Well, after I get a good job, I’ll get a guy too, whether you like it or not. Its not that difficult, you know? I’ll prove it to you that all these years I have been single only by choice and that too, for you guys only.

Mom : So there definitely is no one right now?

Dad : So you are ok with being with a guy and getting married and that sort of life. Our girl is growing!

Mom: (smiling with comprehension) That is such a relief!

Me :(Feeling cheated) Hey!! I didn’t say that. And NO! I am not interested, let alone ready for those things! What the hell!!

With that, I stormed out of the room with my fists balled and my back turned on my ROFLing parents. Parents these days, are becoming too smart for their own good! Hmph!

The Master of Unforgivable Curses

Till sometime back, I used to very proudly believe in only and only logical reasons and scientific explanations, and I kind of overlooked things or issues that didn’t have tangible or explainable evidences or witnesses, and restrained(as much as possible) from indulging into common social practices that did not have logical and rational grounds.

I used to feel that miracles and fate don’t exist. Nothing can be achieved without fulfilling the requirements that included sincere efforts and hard work, and vice versa. But this goes against the existence of miracles, which are unnatural unexplainable occurrences, said to be supernatural acts of God. Similarly, I used to call ‘fate’, as the last reason claimed by the people filled with hopelessness, helplessness and despair, when in reality, it doesn’t exist. I would say that I prefer knowing and feeling that I control my own life, and not some unknown unaccounted factor called fate.

Here I am today, sitting at home without a job, praying to God, wishing for miracles and cursing fate, when nothing happening in my life seems rational and justifiable. Everyone I have spoken to in the past couple of months seem to feel that I was not at fault, and that I had done my level best at every step, and that I was not to blame myself for my present condition, and I was to wait patiently and pray God. Well, then if I weren’t to blame myself, who the hell am I supposed to blame? That is when everyone said in unison, “FATE!” That’s all! Wow. That was easy! Not remotely satisfying or helping my cause, but somehow, I felt the pieces fit together, with this illogical reason! This is what set me thinking.
While everyone praises God for his creation, everyone normally curses Fate for destruction. May be Fate is just another name for God- the wild and bad and sinister sadistic side of Him, just like the black-Spiderman. Fate, I guess, is the master of unforgivable curses- the Imperius Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, the Killing Curse.

When we plan something meticulously, work hard over it, yet meet an unexplained failure, we say, ”Man proposes, God disposes.” How very true. We think we are walking down a lane, when Fate hits us with an Imperius Curse, only to make us walk where we never thought of and do mortifying things we never intended to do. By the time we wake up from the curse, the damage is already done and though it looks like we did it, we really aren’t responsible for it, are we?

Similarly, let’s consider innocent people who happened to be grievously injured in some terrorist attacks or freak accidents or bomb blasts or natural calamities. This is Fate shouting, “Crucio!” Unbearable pain that could numb your senses, and sometimes lead one to painful death. After all, You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse!

Likewise is unnatural untimely death, which is when Fate points its wand and says, “Avada Kedavra!” As we all know, no one has ever survived it except the famous Harry Potter!

Anyway, what I meant is that seeing things this way does make believing in oneself easier, in a weird way. It makes one feel better knowing that it wasn’t his mistake. I haven’t yet seen any glimpses or snapshots of miracles to start believing in that too, but Fate, I guess I just cant ignore it anymore! Not that I can do anything about it, like anyone can do anything about God, simply coz Fate infact, is God’s darker side, and as I said, the Master of unforgivable curses.

Anchored to misfortune…

HOPELESSNESS(Band)- Broken Tears in Solitude(Album)- Anchored to A Past(Song)

Recently, came across this band (not a very popular one though), and checked out its album lyrics. The songs might not be brilliant in English, but they do manage to convey their meaning. I found the following lyrics very poignant and significantly meaningful.

….
….

The curse of solitude
The sentence of distress
Lost tears that crossed me
With mutilated senses
Of hopelessness

Anchored to misfortune
Sighs of pain resound
The waits that enclose you
In the train of confusion
Sorrow never comes alone

Hesitate false steps
On a cracked ground

Anchored to A Past

Anchored to misfortune.