Deserved Respect

Today I fired my servant maid. Not a great start of the day, is it?

The conversation touched a topic that I have always found very unfair and irritating.

She took up another house’s work at my time slot and told me she cannot come before I go to the office anymore. The reason she gave is that the people who had asked her to do the work were older than her, and hence out of respect, she could not deny. Apparently, they are older than her, hence it is her duty to do whatever they ask of her, even if it is unfair, but I should not ask her about delays coz I am younger than her!

This is the thing with our country, isn’t it? The word RESPECT is not defined correctly. They call it culture. They call it values. They call it tradition. I call it b**l s**t. 

Respect is something every human being is entitled to. The amount of respect a person deserves may depend on – being human, outward cleanliness and personal hygiene, social ethics and one’s beliefs & acts. In a professional setting- one’s education and position, and in social setting- senior citizens, handicapped people, pregnant women and sick people get higher preference. I say preference here, and not respect though it is misconstrued a lot in our country. Isn’t a Janitor as much of a human as a firm’s Partner. Doesn’t a child / teenager deserves as much of respect as senior citizen in a bus / train / party?

NO ONE is entitled to be unfair or arrogant or manipulative and take the world for granted because of age! The time ticks the same for all and the world revolves the same for all. 

Below are some of the social thoughts around the older generation, and my personal beliefs.

Older people are Gods, they should be worshiped – they are humans just like everyone else. 

They have the right to take all decisions – only when it concerns them, and to an extent, their dependant under-aged children. Above 18ers deserve to make their own decisions. Older generation can guide, consult, and support if they wish to. 

They know the best, they know it all, they are always right, they don’t make mistakes – they, like any other human beings, they can most definitely be wrong and should have the humility to accept that. Their experience can definitely be a perspective to consider, and might bring many new angles to the table, but that doesn’t mean they are always right. 

It’s ok if they are unfair and unjust, they don’t have to be brought to justice, they should not be challenged, they should not be questioned, they need not apologize as they are older – No one has the right to be unfair or hurtful or unjust to anyone – age no bar, caste no bar, religion no bar, sex no bar. Anyone who does a mistake can be and should be held responsible and brought to justice, and at the very least, apologize for their mistakes.

IT IS NOT SAD IF SOME ONE OLDER THAN YOU MAKES A MISTAKE AND APOLOGIZES TO YOU! It is the right thing to do! YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING APOLOGIZED TO! A person apologizing doesn’t look bad, in fact earns more respect by acknowledging their mistake.

Younger people around them have adjust to them, they don’t have to adjust to anyone – I don’t have to adjust to ANYONE beyond my tolerable point. My daughter doesn’t have to adjust to me beyond her limit either! And I shouldn’t expect her to. In fact, the older I become, the more understanding I should become, and more tolerant and adjusting that should make me. Adjustment is mutual, if someone doesn’t adjust to me, I am NOT OBLIGED to adjust to them because of their age – and this is NOT DISRESPECT. 

Raping is a sin (also a crime); But so are others like  insulting someone, depriving any human being of freedom, fundamental rights and self-respect in the pretext of being older, hurting anyone – be it  a child or an animal, considering oneself superior and others inferior, being arrogantly proud and egotistical. God doesn’t weigh good and bad based on age. Law doesn’t change no matter what the age of the convict is. 

Old age can be entitled for a separate queue, sympathies and support; NOT an excuse for boosting self-egos, making mistakes and stomping over youth on the grounds of culture / tradition / values. 

Respect is earned, not forced out using threats and blackmails. Respect should be given at will, not under pressure. Respect should be deserved.

The Master of Unforgivable Curses

Till sometime back, I used to very proudly believe in only and only logical reasons and scientific explanations, and I kind of overlooked things or issues that didn’t have tangible or explainable evidences or witnesses, and restrained(as much as possible) from indulging into common social practices that did not have logical and rational grounds.

I used to feel that miracles and fate don’t exist. Nothing can be achieved without fulfilling the requirements that included sincere efforts and hard work, and vice versa. But this goes against the existence of miracles, which are unnatural unexplainable occurrences, said to be supernatural acts of God. Similarly, I used to call ‘fate’, as the last reason claimed by the people filled with hopelessness, helplessness and despair, when in reality, it doesn’t exist. I would say that I prefer knowing and feeling that I control my own life, and not some unknown unaccounted factor called fate.

Here I am today, sitting at home without a job, praying to God, wishing for miracles and cursing fate, when nothing happening in my life seems rational and justifiable. Everyone I have spoken to in the past couple of months seem to feel that I was not at fault, and that I had done my level best at every step, and that I was not to blame myself for my present condition, and I was to wait patiently and pray God. Well, then if I weren’t to blame myself, who the hell am I supposed to blame? That is when everyone said in unison, “FATE!” That’s all! Wow. That was easy! Not remotely satisfying or helping my cause, but somehow, I felt the pieces fit together, with this illogical reason! This is what set me thinking.
While everyone praises God for his creation, everyone normally curses Fate for destruction. May be Fate is just another name for God- the wild and bad and sinister sadistic side of Him, just like the black-Spiderman. Fate, I guess, is the master of unforgivable curses- the Imperius Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, the Killing Curse.

When we plan something meticulously, work hard over it, yet meet an unexplained failure, we say, ”Man proposes, God disposes.” How very true. We think we are walking down a lane, when Fate hits us with an Imperius Curse, only to make us walk where we never thought of and do mortifying things we never intended to do. By the time we wake up from the curse, the damage is already done and though it looks like we did it, we really aren’t responsible for it, are we?

Similarly, let’s consider innocent people who happened to be grievously injured in some terrorist attacks or freak accidents or bomb blasts or natural calamities. This is Fate shouting, “Crucio!” Unbearable pain that could numb your senses, and sometimes lead one to painful death. After all, You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse!

Likewise is unnatural untimely death, which is when Fate points its wand and says, “Avada Kedavra!” As we all know, no one has ever survived it except the famous Harry Potter!

Anyway, what I meant is that seeing things this way does make believing in oneself easier, in a weird way. It makes one feel better knowing that it wasn’t his mistake. I haven’t yet seen any glimpses or snapshots of miracles to start believing in that too, but Fate, I guess I just cant ignore it anymore! Not that I can do anything about it, like anyone can do anything about God, simply coz Fate infact, is God’s darker side, and as I said, the Master of unforgivable curses.