Monday, July 27, 2009

What the hell?!?

Yesterday, I had a very infuriating conversation with my parents. It all started with some stupid Tamil serial, where the parents weep and wail over a couple who run away to get married or something equally stupid.

Dad : This dowry system was so widely prevalent even now in the rural areas, that the girl’s father actually encourages his daughter to run off with a suitable guy, get married and return after a month or so. On their return, he would pretend to be abashed by their act along with the boy’s parents, and eventually both would accept the married couple without lakhs being spent by the bride’s family in wedding customs and dowry. Apparently such cheap and effective ways were used by the couples and/or the girl’s poor parents to avoid the wrath of dowry system.

Me : Well, as at some point, someone had to stop giving dowry one way or another, coz the ones who would get money mostly might not take the initiation. Why... even educated grooms of today still don’t spend a penny or offer to share the wedding expenses from the bride’s parents! A t least most of them don’t, unless it’s a love marriage and the girl has guts enough to make her guy see the right and the wrong and make him ‘be a man’ and share.

This was all I said, no double or triple meaning intended. To these words, my dad gave me a very sarcastic smile, something I had never seen before.

Me: what? You don’t think running away, as easy as it may sound, to be the right solution to dowry problem, is it?

Dad: no.. not that. Personally, I did not take a penny from your mother, and I don’t intend giving anything in your marriage either. But running away of my daughter is something I wouldn’t even think of. The very thought is extremely ridiculous and infact, its funny!

Again, a sarcastic laugh.

Me: Sure! Because you trust me that much, right?

Dad: Not that I don’t trust you, its just that I don’t think you can!

Mom : (giving dad a stern look) He is just joking dear. Just pulling your leg.

Me: WHAT? Why not?!? I could run away iff I wanted to! Not that I do want to…

Dad: naah.. you are not the kind of a girl who could, you know, have a boyfriend. That’s all.

Me: what nonsense! I don’t have one coz I didn’t want to break your trust and coz I chose not to. What makes you think that I ‘can’t’ have one? I just have to wave a hand or give a signal. You’ll have to eat your words then.

Mom(sitting upright): really?!? Why? Is there someone?

Dad : (openly laughing by now) yeah right!

Mom : Who is this boy you are referring to? Is he your college mate? Is he a Christian? Is that why you always, and more often these days, keep praising Christian weddings and how you love them?

Me: Alright! You guys have got to stop your wild imaginations for a sec and listen. No mom, there is no one like that!

Dad : (stops laughing and turns to mom) I am telling you. She is not like that. Now her sister… I wouldn’t put it past her! But she just can’t be like that!

Me: I can’t believe you don’t trust me! You have such a low opinion of me!

Mom : Nonsense! He says so because he trusts you and has a high opinion of you.

Me: Well, after I get a good job, I’ll get a guy too, whether you like it or not. Its not that difficult, you know? I’ll prove it to you that all these years I have been single only by choice and that too, for you guys only.

Mom : So there definitely is no one right now?

Dad : So you are ok with being with a guy and getting married and that sort of life. Our girl is growing!

Mom: (smiling with comprehension) That is such a relief!

Me :(Feeling cheated) Hey!! I didn’t say that. And NO! I am not interested, let alone ready for those things! What the hell!!

With that, I stormed out of the room with my fists balled and my back turned on my ROFLing parents. Parents these days, are becoming too smart for their own good! Hmph!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Master of Unforgivable Curses

Till sometime back, I used to very proudly believe in only and only logical reasons and scientific explanations, and I kind of overlooked things or issues that didn’t have tangible or explainable evidences or witnesses, and restrained(as much as possible) from indulging into common social practices that did not have logical and rational grounds.

I used to feel that miracles and fate don’t exist. Nothing can be achieved without fulfilling the requirements that included sincere efforts and hard work, and vice versa. But this goes against the existence of miracles, which are unnatural unexplainable occurrences, said to be supernatural acts of God. Similarly, I used to call ‘fate’, as the last reason claimed by the people filled with hopelessness, helplessness and despair, when in reality, it doesn’t exist. I would say that I prefer knowing and feeling that I control my own life, and not some unknown unaccounted factor called fate.

Here I am today, sitting at home without a job, praying to God, wishing for miracles and cursing fate, when nothing happening in my life seems rational and justifiable. Everyone I have spoken to in the past couple of months seem to feel that I was not at fault, and that I had done my level best at every step, and that I was not to blame myself for my present condition, and I was to wait patiently and pray God. Well, then if I weren’t to blame myself, who the hell am I supposed to blame? That is when everyone said in unison, “FATE!” That’s all! Wow. That was easy! Not remotely satisfying or helping my cause, but somehow, I felt the pieces fit together, with this illogical reason! This is what set me thinking.
While everyone praises God for his creation, everyone normally curses Fate for destruction. May be Fate is just another name for God- the wild and bad and sinister sadistic side of Him, just like the black-Spiderman. Fate, I guess, is the master of unforgivable curses- the Imperius Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, the Killing Curse.

When we plan something meticulously, work hard over it, yet meet an unexplained failure, we say, ”Man proposes, God disposes.” How very true. We think we are walking down a lane, when Fate hits us with an Imperius Curse, only to make us walk where we never thought of and do mortifying things we never intended to do. By the time we wake up from the curse, the damage is already done and though it looks like we did it, we really aren’t responsible for it, are we?

Similarly, let’s consider innocent people who happened to be grievously injured in some terrorist attacks or freak accidents or bomb blasts or natural calamities. This is Fate shouting, “Crucio!” Unbearable pain that could numb your senses, and sometimes lead one to painful death. After all, You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse!

Likewise is unnatural untimely death, which is when Fate points its wand and says, “Avada Kedavra!” As we all know, no one has ever survived it except the famous Harry Potter!

Anyway, what I meant is that seeing things this way does make believing in oneself easier, in a weird way. It makes one feel better knowing that it wasn’t his mistake. I haven’t yet seen any glimpses or snapshots of miracles to start believing in that too, but Fate, I guess I just cant ignore it anymore! Not that I can do anything about it, like anyone can do anything about God, simply coz Fate infact, is God’s darker side, and as I said, the Master of unforgivable curses.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Anchored to misfortune…

HOPELESSNESS(Band)- Broken Tears in Solitude(Album)- Anchored to A Past(Song)

Recently, came across this band (not a very popular one though), and checked out its album lyrics. The songs might not be brilliant in English, but they do manage to convey their meaning. I found the following lyrics very poignant and significantly meaningful.


The curse of solitude
The sentence of distress
Lost tears that crossed me
With mutilated senses
Of hopelessness

Anchored to misfortune
Sighs of pain resound
The waits that enclose you
In the train of confusion
Sorrow never comes alone

Hesitate false steps
On a cracked ground
Anchored to A Past
Anchored to misfortune.