Monday, March 30, 2009

Toffee Issues

Life here is becoming more n more difficult, n well, may be, more expensive. Hey, I am not talking about some stupid inflation or some economics stuff. But well, the conversations normally exchanged in shops here are somewhat like these:
Student: One center-fresh pack.
Shop-Keeper(SK): 6 Rupees.
Student gives a 10 Rupees note. SK returns him 4 coffee-bites, or some unknown 1-Re toffees!
This happens almost always these days! I mean, most of the students have to give the SK the right change, up to even 1 Re coins. Where the hell do they all go? I mean, this is obviously, a stupid mass strategy for chocolate/toffee marketing, and a n effective business tactic for the SKs, coz they get them in a bulk, for way a lesser price, and I don’t know, throw away all the changes that they have (or just hide them) and refuse to sell the customers stuff if they don’t have change, unless they are ready to accept these toffees or simply buy more stuff till they get a round number, when in fact, they intentionally fix the prices at some odd value, just exceeding a round value, in-order to sell more of their toffees!
Today, a friend wanted maggi, and we went to the Nescafe stall inside the Girls Hostel. One plate of maggi is Rs 12, a coffee is Rs 6, Tomato Soup is Rs 7. But we all know that she takes 15 for maggi, 10 each for soup and coffee. If they don’t have changes then why not make the prices round, and just increase/decrease the quantities? Then no one has to lose, except these SKs would make lesser profit! They have gotten so used to bullying this extra unseen money from students, that they have become so damn arrogant now!
Friend: A plate maggi plz.
Gives Rs 15. SK gives back 3 melodies (which we all hate).
Friend: See... I really am not a chocolate person. I'll give you Rs 2. Gimme the five back.
Friend gives a 1Re coin and 2 50-paise coins.
SK: Sorry. We don’t accept anything other than 1/2/5 Rs coins. 50 paise and all doesn’t go in the market.
Friend: Then just note my name, ID and my room no and take 10 Rs, n I promise I'll get the change by tomorrow.
SK: See... I cant do that. But take these toffees. Don’t you know? Coins are not there anywhere in Pilani. The daily market works only with these toffees. They are really good! Just try them! And if they are not good, let me know.
Student: Why?
SK: Then I’ll change to some other toffee! :D
Then my friend had one of those damn toffees that was given a couple of days ago from the same SK. So she gave it in place of the 2 50 paise coins.
Friend: Well, since the market is running on these toffees, there you go!.
SK: Uh.. well, we only give toffees, not take them. Sorry. But then you can buy something else for 3 or 7 Rs, surely.
Friend: Nopes. Don’t want anything else either. But you know what? Forget the maggi. I am not hungry anymore! Your toffees just drove it away!
SK: Sure. That’s fine.
She then turns to another girl who shows a 100 Rs note for some 32 Rs purchase, and gives her back 8 toffees! The girl takes them with no complaint at all! Either the girl is just too dumb, or just very hungry and ok with being cheated! So much for education in a ‘prestigious institute’!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

DIB(The Expansion will be Explained Subsequently)

1.15 am
Me: (Yawn)
Knock Knock.. Door opens.
Me: Hi.. can you please reduce the volume? I am not able to sleep.
DIB: Oh! Ok.. I’ll reduce it.

1.35 am
Bumbro bumbro.. o…o… tummm…
Me: What the hell man? She just touched the volume control or what? I can still hear it well, loud enough and clear! You can hear it through the phone!!! Imagine listening to the same song for the past half an hour!! Whaa I want to sleep!!!
Friend-on-phone: Well.. good luck with that!! Anyways, goodnight!

Knock Knock.. Door opens.
DIB: Oh.. you can still hear?
Me: Yes. Very very clearly!
DIB: Oh.. k.. I’ll reduce it further. Sorry! :D

2.00 am
haira haira hairabba.. haira haira hairabba..
50 kg tajmahal enakke enakkagha..
Me: (Thinking) Oh that is considerate of her to put tamil song for my sake!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!? Doesnt she know how to reduce volume?

3.15 am
Phone rings.
Me: So the world is against my sleeping!
Number seen: +301
Me: Ohh! ISTD??
A male voice: Hulloooo…. Aap kaun bol rahe hain?
Me: Huh? Aapne call kiya tha.. aap boliye? Kaun hai aap aur kya chaahiye?
The male voice: Aapka voice bada sweet hai… Aapka naam kya hai? Mere saath friendship karengi?
Me: urgh! (Cut the call.)

Phone rings again. Number seen: +301.
Me: (Thinking) If its not ISTD, it must be some VOIP or some thing like that! Hmph.(Switch it off.)
Aaye ho kis bagiya se..
Bumbro bumbro, oh oh tum..
Bumbro bumbro, oh oh tum….

Me: This is just not happening!! Deaf Insomniac Bitch(DIB)!!
(Switch the fan on.)
The noise of the fan drowns the bumbro music.
Me: Well, this noise is atleast bearable!
Cover myself with an extra blanket and finally fall asleep.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The unwelcomed guest

About an hour back, there was a really unbelievably huge and unexplainably ugly lizard in my wing that caused a huge chaos, and led to a not very new, yet a valuable realization, and a huge sigh of relief. The lizard was kinda playing hide-n-seek with the rooms and the wingies when all of them banged on my door and screamed out,” Hey.. A lizard is coming into your room!!!” I immediately, out of reflex, opened my door, and was immediately confronted by a few of my friends with their brooms held high! I realized that they were not joking, and tried to locate where the stupid homeless lizard had gone, when I sadly found that when I had opened my door, it had gotten stuck to the bottom of my door and was struggling to get into my room!!! I jumped and picked my own broom, and there we were, just staring at the obscenely huge struggling lizard, not really knowing how to tackle it, for none of us, especially me, fancied seeing a dead stinking lizard under my door. Since we were all delirious, NO- NOT SCARED, just you know… kinda panicky, I went to ask the didis for help, thinking they might have more experience and might tell us exactly what to do.

FYI, didis are the 24x7 helpers who stay in the girls hostel and their so-called-jobs are to be there for us in case of any required help. Well, as I was saying, they were all gathered in their own common room, knitting sweaters (Lord knows why considering the winter is long gone) and watching a really old Hindi movie. I went there in a delirious hasty state and pleaded and begged them for help. One out of the five maids looked up, and said she didn’t know what to do, and told me to take someone else. Others didn’t even bother to look up from their ‘knitting’ or their ‘fascinating movie scene’. So much for their presence in the hostel!!!

I walked back, and then the rest of the ‘friends-with-brooms’ were standing just where I had left them- right outside my door, keeping an eye on the lizard, though it seemed pretty still, and I was afraid it was dead where I didn’t want it dead!! Of all the places to get stuck! Urgh! Anyways, then we formed strategies, found that it was still alive, very much actually, and slowly maneuvered it out if its hole, into my room and out through the balcony, using a number of brooms and tracking it to its right path and all. Phew! What an exhaustingly nasty business! And ew! What a disgusting reptile!! Even more than the fright of it lying dead under my door, there was a disconcerting thought of it ripping its tail or a limb off and running away, leaving it in my room. The lizard would eventually grow it back. But my room would have been a mess!!

So the main lesson learnt- Didis here are so used to luxurious life of not working at all, and watching TV 24x7 and doing nothing, that these helpers are just not helpers anymore, except if them not helping leads to us learning to help ourselves is the help that they really are here for! And the huge sigh of relief was hence a mixture of the ugly lizard leaving my room whole and alive, and, me leaving this place for good, by the end of this sem, to a place where I hope to God, not to face such useless irritating unhelpful didis ever in my life. But oh well, at the end of it all, the unwanted guest left my room alive, when all the odds were pointing the other way, no thanks to the didis, but all thanks to the wingies-with-brooms!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

An Irony of Life

Some time back, I had written about how boring life had become, so much that it was a type of killer. After all these months, nothing much seems to have changed in my belief. For the past few weeks, over and over again, I have lived with them and them and them and them and them and them and them and them and them and am going to further live with them and them and them and many others. Things always seem to happen in series! A person/character always gets what one wants in real life with so much ease. I mean, life in series seems much more exciting and much less boring, much more adventurous and much less monotonous, and life there seems much more invigorating and much less useless than the daily one. One would feel so important, so powerful,so confident, so extraordinary and successful in there. Well, all I have to say is that ordinary life sucks and I really really wish miracles would happen and fictions would be real though the only problem is that fictions are falsities, imaginary tales, fantasies, fairy tales- basically opposite of realities!! What an irony!!Sigh...