Saturday, May 8, 2010

My Choice

DISCLAIMER: The contents of this post are not meant to be offensive and definitely to the general population. It is just another post with no double/triple meanings or inner implications or any other intentions, just plainly right from heart.

A lot of things that some of the NRIs I know been saying saying about me that has been pissing me off for quite some time. But something that a dumb pampered distant relative with rich parents and no idea of the actual meaning of life or reality said quite recently about me and my life and my choices kind of ticked me off a lot. It was like a spillover from a bowl that has been getting filled for quite some time now. The first thing that came up in my mind was:

House: "Spoken like a true circle queen."

Cameron looks at him funny.

House: "See, skinny, socially privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. And everyone inside the circle is normal. Everyone outside the circle needs to be beaten, broken, and reset so they can be brought into the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied."

Cameron: "So it's wrong to feel sorry for this little boy?"

House: "Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets to opt out of the inane courteous formalities which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? This kid doesn't have to pretend to be interested in your back pain or your excretions or your grandma's itchy place. Can you imagine how liberating it would be to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties? I don't pity this kid. I envy him."

I am not comparing anyone here with anyone I am referring to, including myself. But what he says is almost always the absolute and unarguable fact, which people sometimes in real lives just refuse to accept because of their own circles.

So here is some clarification for the sake of all the above mentioned circle kings and queens.

This is for the people who keep wondering: Why are you not doing a foreign MS?
1. I have chosen not to do an MS simply coz I was, and still am not a fan of 'an-MS-in-US' concept, and I specifically wanted to get a few years of work-ex before an MBA.
2. I do not feel the pressing need to race the world in getting settled in some foreign land and get an NRI title, coz I am fully happy and satisfied in what I am here, what I have here, what I get here and who I am with here.
3. I chose not to study immediately after graduating with 2 degrees simply coz I was and I still am, sick of studying. I will probably just go and murder anyone who asks me to take a test or study some course at least for some time in the near future.
4. I joined a good company after passing out coz just like a lot of people, I too wanted self-earned-money, quality experience and an identity other than a college kid. I am extremely happy with what I have now and I DEFINITELY don’t envy or judge anyone who has taken along a different path of life.

This is for the people who just can't get over the question: Why are you working in a field that is not relevant to your degrees?
5. I took up a job in a field that may not appear too relevant to my degrees because, one of my degrees is useful only for research purposes, which I am not a fan of, and to be an expert in the other degree, I had to do an MS, and not what I wanted either.
6. The job I am in gives me most of what I want and a good percentage of what I need, and that is how much any human (not an Indian, any human) working anywhere would expect. Even a professional bungee jumper would have at least 10 things to brood and complain about his job!

I could go around asking people, about why you had chosen to get settled in US when you were born and brought up in India. No matter if you are studying or working there, you still are an Indian by birth. No matter how much you fake your accent or eat burgers for lunch or wipe your ass with a tissue, you would still not be accepted as an American there. But I certainly won't ask any of that coz its rude to intrude and I certainly won't judge you. I would respect the fact that you are educated, have brains and are old enough to think and set your priorities and choose what you feel is right for you.

Please note, I have NOT attempted GRE or any other exams even once, so I am NOT in a 'the-grapes-are-sour' state. I am simply not interested right now.

Also, I am NOT in any way against NRIs. In fact, I know a lot of sane and sensible NRIs whom I respect and admire a lot; so many relatives and friends. But I am a 100% against the those who sit around judging me for being me and not them!

I am also not against people's suggestions. They are all welcome. But just understand that the final decision is all mine. I shall go abroad when I wish to or when I choose to, and not just because some narrow minded people happened to have low opinions of me or insult my parents for my decisions. My parents have given me full freedom to decide my life and they give all the respect in the world to my choices and for that, I am extremely thankful to them.

And finally, there is only one thing I would like to say - Climb out of your holes, people!


  1. @ harini: i am now. i wasn't yeaterday. :D

  2. I'm with you on this one. How does one follow your blog btw? Looked around but couldn't locate the option.

  3. I completely agree with you on this one!! Even in my extended family there's a lot of importance given to the 'MS degree' in the US (As im sure is, in most Tamil families :P ). Somehow i feel this US craze is more among Tamilians and Andhraites. Dunno why. Its more of a prestige issue. And likewise my relatives were shocked too when i chose not to go for an MS. I simply dint want to continue in a technical field. However, many dint understand that. For them, the MS degree is a gateway for a comfortable life in the US.

    The best part was when one of my aunts quizzed me about why i wasn't going for MS. I said i was simply not interested in it. She seemed shocked and in a very pitying voice told me "oh but if ur not settled in the US then no father will give his daughter's hand in marriage to you!!" (And in my community i do know that thats a fact :P ) I gave a smile n said "Ill take that risk!!" :P

  4. @ full of nargles: it is on the top, near the search block. i have also added a button in the side now. :)

  5. @ ulag: lol!! tats so awful man! i have learnt to filter out a lot of stuff coming from people not worthy of giving advise. :P

  6. Hi, I happened to stumble onto your blog while blog hopping. This post touched a chord with me...I have been judged all my life for my choices and some of my NRI relatives think am juts crazy for what I do and how I do it! So yes I agree with your views as that has been my way of life...

  7. @ SR: thanks for dropping by. n yea.. i wrote it at a peak point of irritation over it. but well, happens.. i guess.
    hey.. do visit again..