Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Difficult Love

Sometimes, just sometimes, love could be torturous. People you love, and mainly those who love you back, often tend to do things you hate and take you for granted to such an extent that you seriously wish you were on the peak of Himalayas wearing an orange dress with a chain of beads in hands, chanting gibberish stuff.

Right when you stomach is upset, they make you eat ‘the-food-they-made-outta-love’ even if you feel nauseous. Right when you have a bitter cold, they offer sweets and serve icecreams or grapes or cucumbers and complain if you don’t eat. Oh, and only when you request them to keep a secret, they gossip about it, claiming to be helping in spreading the word. And when you don’t appreciate being bought a new dress forcefully, you are considered to have an attitude problem; just like they brand you to be too headstrong and obstinate when they are the ones ‘trying to be there for you’ when the main thing you want is some time alone. The worst part is when one is expected to take it all with a wide smile on face, swallowing all the pain and grief of never getting what is wanted dearly, because it never feels great, not being able to control your own life!

Distance, speed, weight, time etc etc have respective global units to quantify. Love, is probably one of the very few attributes, that have no specific units. They are solely quantified based on the method of expression and NOT the amount showered. Being with your loved ones would be the most rewarding feeling if everyone expresses it in the way the other person wants or understands. Else, it equivalent to speaking in an alien language and doesn’t make sense, and after one point, leads to frustration and doubts. Love should be the easiest thing in the world. ,If it becomes extremely difficult and intolerable, then it either means that there is a HUGE communication gap and lack of understanding, or simply that the people are from India!!! It is here that even after 18 or even 21, men and women are still treated as children by adults, and their needs and wants overruled in the name of ‘love’ and ‘care’ of elders who ‘ALWAYS know-better’. Curiosity and joblessness of society and relatives and ‘loved ones’ overrides personal space and privacy. But the most important thing that people don’t realize is that one can retain water only in open and cupped hand. The minute fingers close upon it and try to clench it tightly, the water escapes, and is lost, just like love and respect.

And the sooner people understand this, the better it would be for everyone, else whole bonding might get ripped right from the foundation.


  1. hahahaha :P
    yes love is the most difficult word to understand........ :P
    unconditional love is difficult..... but it is great :P
    but yes in india, It is difficult to maintain relation..... :P
    Good read

  2. hmm... Love has always played complicated mind games with me, so I wont say love is easy, though being in love is !

  3. hehe, first para is too good. Liked the comparison.

    In vadivelu's tone, "ore love tortures of india va pochu" :D

  4. @ ordinary guy: i knoww... sad.. isnt it? indians may find ways to reach moon and even some day, destroy terrorism.. but expressing feelings, accepting others' views on love and understanding it is something that i seriously doubt Indians would accomplish! :D
    but hey.. dont get me wrong.. i am any day, proud to be an Indian nevertheless!

  5. @ vimal: adedaan naanum solla try pannaren! :)
    but i wasnt talking abt romantic relationships here.. :)

  6. @ karthick: he he.. danke!
    --> "ore love tortures of india va pochu" >> lol.. though never heard of it! :P sorry! but he does come up wid a whole lot of stuff like tat all d time!! :)

  7. @vimmuuu
    love isnt easy but being in love is??? being in love may feel good but being in love IS EASY?? thats the first person i've heard who has said that..!

    yep we've all had those relationships where we've been forced against our will to do things (however little or large) for others out of 'loooove' :P ugh! dont get me started!
    it starts with the emotional blackmail... "if u love me u will..." fill it up the way u like!

    from ur description it sounds like a posessive and overprotective parent/guardian with a child/younger one who is dying to break free. sigh... been there, done that!

  8. i face tht a lot...sometimes whn im down i just wnt some alone time n sit n listen to songs or something till i feel better....tht time i just dont like it if ppl arnd keep asking me wht happened n all tht....but ppl do end up asking....purely out of love n affection though...but soon enuf, in my case atleast, theyve understood tht if im feeling down, to leave me alone till i feel better...some ppl understnd tht n some dont....

  9. Tis better to have loved and lost then to have..
    Oh what the hell?
    Make sure it happens once. :D

  10. @ ashwathy: seriously! u pointed on the right problem: emotional blackmail! "if u love me, ..." (as u said), and "have i brought you up like that?" or "if u trust me, or ever trusted me, then..." or "prove that u r MY daughter by ...".. and the list jus goes on n on n on!! :(

  11. @ ulaganath: :) right you are! :)

  12. @ vivek: seriously... i wasnt referring about romantic love at all!! it was all about the inba thollai of family n relatives..
    but abt romance n all, jus cant picture myself romantically for a sec!! :P

  13. @ AV,

    Never heard of it? What I had typed is a modified version of "Ore tensions of India va pochu" from the movie 'Kadhalan'.