Thought process

Disclaimer: The incidents mentioned below do not include anyone in specific. If anyone feels that I have referred to them, then it is them alright! If people think it can’t be them, then it most definitely isn’t! I would also like to assert that a thought process is a totally uncontrolled series of thoughts jumping from one topic to another, as random as the chaotic particles in Brownian motion. It’s the time when your heart talks with your brain in the silence around you. I am stating a few of the incidents where my heart n my brain were unable to come to any conclusion, hence, the questions were left unanswered. So I am ABSOLUTELY NOT RESPONSIBLE if any of you choose to take offence in any way.

Yesterday night, I went home from work, as usual, and found that there was no power. The whole area seemed to have been engulfed in pitch darkness with the utter silence being broken now and then by passing 2 wheelers or a few people walking n talking loudly on the road. I went into the house and freshened up. Then I didn’t know what to do! So I sat on my ease chair and started rocking, looking at the ceiling. (Was doing it after a long time you see.) Though there was absolutely no source of light, the ceiling ridiculously seemed to glow! Then when I looked around, almost all the things in the room seemed to have an eerie glow! Damn the excited electrons going back to stable state (thus giving off light as fluorescence, I guess :P)! Well, it was in such times that my mind used to think of a lot of things- a lot of small pieces of conversations that wouldn’t have really mattered while speaking, but I would have put them in my pensieve to look at and muse over later; a lot of bothering incidents that I would have let go at that time, but stored in a small corner of my mind to think over later; some of my mistakes, some of my blunders n some of the lessons learnt from mine and others’ experiences. But after such a session, I would usually be left with a wide range of questions. Yesterday being one such night, I have a mind filled with a whole lot of Qs; redundant though they may be in the world’s eyes, I haven’t yet encountered with convincing answers.

1. I had recently spoken to a friend gone to the US to do MS. She told me that that it wasn’t too difficult to locate Indians in the huge crowd at all! Girls or guys! Apparently, the college girls there wore such outrageously exposing clothes, but the guys there never even turned their heads n gave a second look! Indians- girls give shocked stares, guys gape at them appreciative! There you go! That’s how you locate Indians it seems! OMG! What is wrong with us Indians?

2. Why do people in ‘love’ suddenly start questioning about ‘blue skies’ n ‘pink flowers’ n ‘flying birds’ n what not? Sky is blue due to Rayleigh’s scattering effect of molecules in the Sun’s rays, Flowers are pink due to Anthocyanins and birds fly due to their anatomical structure ans bcoz as they can’t walk all their way! These were there before they were born, and will be there after they die! Such questions are just NOT romantic!

3. Why is it that we can very comfortably see n may be even enjoy watching adult u-know-what scenes in movies or even in reality between strangers in bus stops or in malls or in movie theatres or beaches or hotels or even on roads, but can’t bear see our friends make out in front of us? Why do we get so easily embarrassed n why do the love-birds never understand others’ awkward position and remained ‘romantically involved’ even in public??

(Monica n Chandler kissing in front of Phoebe)

Phoebe: eww get a room!

Monica : we already have one.

Phoebe: then use it!!!

Making out in public doesn’t make Monica n Chandler broad minded n asking them to not do it in front of her doesn’t make Phoebe narrow minded!

4. Seriously, why do some call themselves ‘frank’ n ‘out-spoken’ n talk nonsense, criticize people unnecessarily n judge people outright based on few facts that they know about them? I HATE such people. They really do not know the meaning of Frankness.

Pidichirukku na sollanumnu avasiyam illa, aana sonna thappu illa.

Pidikalenaa sonna thappu illa, aana sollanumnu avasiyam illa.

It means-

If u like something in some1, u dont need to tell them, but its not wrong if u tell them (as it wud only make them happy! ).

If u dont like something in some1, then its not wrong if u tell them, but u dont need to tell them( as it might offend them... coz u might be 'frank' n they might not be).

This is my policy. I m not asking anyone to follow this. But I have seen a lot of bonds break bcoz of these so-called ‘frank’ people who are just too pompous n snobbish to see the reality and the true essence of one’s character.

5. Why do we get an automatic smile when we hear people talking in our mother-tongue? I am not being a linguistic bitch here. I really don’t know the reason, but when I hear anyone talking in Tamil, I tend to turn around to see who it is, though I know for sure that they are strangers talking among themselves. Funny- my reflexes!

Well, I had a hundred thoughts yesterday only I can’t tell them all. Five of them have made this long enough! But the truth is that I really do enjoy these silent sessions in the dark. Gives me a lot of time to think and learn and prioritize a lot of things. :)

THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Well… this is not my own work. I got this as a mail fwd. (thanks Data!) I am posting this as I learnt a lot from this… rather, rolled with laughter for sometime! :D So I hope it makes you guys laugh too. Enjoy n Happy laughing! :)

Lesson 1

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 4

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 5

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE. Hope you guys enjoyed and had a great laugh! :)

A toast to moms…

Yesterday, we friends met up in one of our houses, and decided to cook lunch. We had gas and stove and the required vessels, and we thought that we could manage something decent with the menial knowledge that some of us possessed in cookery, and that it could be something exciting to do together. Well, to tell the truth, it was. Very! But we learnt a very important lesson. A lesson that everybody probably knows theoretically. Every job has loads of pre-requisites and each pre-req have its own pre-reqs in turn! Hence, to do any job, we have to complete a series of these pre-reqs patiently and efficiently to even reach the actual job. Thus, anything in this world, any specific work with a definite goal, however easy the job may be, can be divided and sub-divided into a large number of smaller tasks, mostly related with ‘ANDs’ and very rarely ‘ORs’. Hence if you consider any of those tasks demeaning to your status and neglect it, you’ll end up not doing the final job effectively.

In our case, we initially decided to make some sambhar, rasam if time permits, some sabji, and buy some curd to make raita and have a nice meal. Well, now since we had none of the ingredients, we had to compile the list of things to be bought, their quantities so that they don’t go waste and the shops where we had to get the different items. Believe me! Starting from some oil to fry and rice and vegetables and different types of dal and masala powders and what not?!? Just a look at the list, which kinda looked as long as the Christmas wish list of a 10 year old, some of us had half a mind directly going to a restaurant and ordering whatever was required and happily gobbling it! Way easier now, wasn’t it? So then we decided against sambhar and rasam and all, and decided to make the simplest fried rice. The list was smaller now and we also had lesser work to do. So we all agreed on this and got all the required ingredients. Boy! We already felt all grown up to have thought of every small detail. Seriously! How did our moms manage to think so much? Especially on a daily basis?!?

Then we divided the smaller tasks like making raita, peeling n cutting vegetables, (everyone was initially scared onions :P you know why!), boiling the potatoes etc. We had lots of funny arguments regarding the smaller details in each item, like the ratio of rice-to-water to be kept in cooker, the size of onion bits for raita, the amount of salt n masala in vegetables, and so on. And after one point, we looked at each other n started laughing! A few months ago, we would have considered ourselves most unlikely to have discussions n arguments on such topics! :D It took us more than an hour and a half to do the stuff and by that time, we were all bloody hungry! We were ready to eat anything- cooked or uncooked. Gosh! How DO working women handle all this? Especially if they have to cook for themselves, their families, for lunch too, and most importantly, a variety of items each day, and early in the morning to be on the heights!!

We took all the prepared items with loads of love and care (after all the efforts! Phew!), arranged them on the floor and we had our lunch together, happily chatting away, relishing each dish, complimenting one another and enjoying the fruits of our hard work, saluting our moms for what they have been doing for us for our entire lives without the slightest grumble, and secretly reprimanding ourselves for the times when we had whined over petty things like tomatoes pieces or coriander leaves in food and the times when we had forgotten to appreciate what they had done for us.And FYI, the food was delicious. Really, it was! But we understood that one would need lots of thinking n planning and patience to do all the smaller work. In fact I would like to go one step further n say that one would definitely need a great company for cooking- to help, to share the work, to give opinions and most importantly, to appreciate the final product, however it comes out to be.

~~~ Life backwards ~~~

A lot of things that happened yesterday reminded me of the fact that I am getting older… though a part of me does want to grow old n move on, that part of me seems to be only too small. The larger part of me doesn’t really want to grow, like Peter Pan.

Yesterday, my mentor was asking me about how happy I would be on getting a job and passing out. My instant reply was “Working life doesn’t seem to be as fascinating as I had imagined. So I am not really looking fwd to it.” n that was the first time I had seen him laugh out loud!

But this happens a little too often these days. The same was the reaction when I told this to my cousins. How I envy my junior friends who are enjoying that delightful life! I hardly find gtalk chatting pleasurable these days! Its filled with either friends working busily who aren’t allowed to log in during work time, or other working friends/seniors working with status ‘dnd’, or with junior friends back in college, chatting with who would only make me more nostalgic and conscious of me growing older!

I got an sms fwd recently “Life is tough. After all the hard work in life, what’s there in the end? Death? Is that fair at all? May be it should go all backwards. You should die first and get it out of the way. Then you live an old age. Next, you get a silver watch and go to work. You work for 40 years until you are young enough to enjoy your ‘retirement’. You get doped, booze, party, and after all these, you get ready for High School then comes the Primary and you become a kid. You play and jump around, no pressure, no worries, no sadness, and no madness. Later, you become a toddler and finally you go back into the womb and spend your last 9 months floating in amniotic fluid and finally finish of as chromosomes.”

Wow! What a prospect! This is why I love fantasies n fictions. People there never seem to grow older than the right age! Well… whatever! I guess- some things are not under my control.

A Tribute to Onions

A long time ago, Potato, Tomato and Onion lived in a house. They loved each other and lived on for a long time. Tomato died of Fungus and Potato and Onion bade him a grand farewell. A few years later, Potato was killed too and Onion was a true friend and dutifully organized a complete death ceremony. Now Onion was all alone in this whole wide world. Later when his time came, Onion had no one by his side. Onion asked God, “I had been there in the last days of my friends and grieved after their times. Why do I have no one to miss me after I leave? What did I do to deserve a tearless depart from this world?” God replied, “Do not be troubled, my dear, for hereafter, the World will cry when you die!”

This is why we all get tears when we cut onions!:)

On my way…

It was a little too early, about 4 am. I woke up even before my alarm cried! A light headache followed. The morning was cold n cloudy, drizzling continuously after a heavy 8-hr downpour the previous night. My shoes were slushy and sweatshirt was cold n soggy. I kept skidding on the road now n then and my bag seemed a little heavy on my shoulder. Some 6-7 guys of different ages waiting in the bus-stop all looked at me as if I were an alien from a different planet (as I was the only female on road at that time). The bus came after a patient 10-min wait. It was a normal dabba govt. bus with water trickling down the top n sides, on my head and clothes. I reached the stopping and enquired an auto-man for directions which I guess he didn’t know but had too much of an ego to accept, so showed me an obscenely long route to walk. The train had already arrived by the time I reached and I found my compartment. The seats were all soaking wet (apparently came from the shed after a shower!! :P). It was stinking big time! Absolutely reeking with toilet smell. Unbearable! And I didn’t have any waste papers to wipe the seat. So had to use my white bed sheet to clean. Though initially empty, my bay later got filled with all grandpas n an irritating uncontrollable kid with an extremely frustrated impatient mother who poured coffee on my bed sheet. I passed my time by reading a thriller, True Evil – Greg Iles. The story was unnerving and the plots were framed well. But the kid kept disturbing all the way!

From the moment I got up, the day was filled with a lot of incidents that would have usually annoyed me and normally been horrible mood-busters; especially these days, when even the smallest of things starts me off. Surprisingly, I found that none of these even bothered me the way they would have in general. My spirits were high and I could feel a smile on my lips all along. The only thing in my mind was – that I was going HOME…

IRREVERSIBLE CHANGES

People change; especially after each important chapter in their lives. Some people change slowly n gradually. They analyze and modify themselves, a little here n there, to suit their present scenario. They forge their character the right way and chisel off some of their old dead ways. Yet, their basic traits remain the same.

There are some others who undergo a mutational transform in a new environment so that the new community doesn’t have to know the old them and thus, can start afresh in that new world, leaving back all the traces of their old beliefs, their old habits, likes n dislikes. These people, I believe, have a weak character. They do not really have faith in their own thoughts/beliefs/actions/habits/culture. They simply look at the crowd and just flow along. They don’t think of their past bcoz they don’t feel proud of it. They either are ashamed of it or they don’t have the guts enough to face the world with their true nature or they simply have loads n loads of inferiority complex and very less confidence on themselves. They generally try to blend with the crowd, blindly following the people they consider a role-model in the new place, not even pausing to think of the transformation that they are undergoing. They don’t keep in touch with their old friends, rather with anyone associated with previous life, especially those who were pretty close; close enough to know about them in and out, enough to know what they had been, what they had thought, what they had said and what they had done in their time together. They are either afraid that their history would come to front and cause embarrassment and shame in the new place or may be they just cant face their old friends as a new reformed person. They simply shut the door to past under some stupid pretext as not having enough time or resources to maintain drop a line. If you get to meet some of these people sometime in future, they don’t even dare look into your eyes while speaking! Duh!! How more uncomfortable could the situation be?!

Here is a simple theory: X and Y are thick childhood friends. X changes to X` after his/her college life and loses contact with Y, who is mutationally robust. Sometime later in life, when X’ and Y meet, X` obviously will not be comfortable with Y anymore bcoz Y was X ’s friend not (X`)’s. This could hurt Y but I guess that is how it has to be as far as X` is concerned. Y is a history to X`, just like X. X` doesn’t hate Y. X` is just indifferent to Y.

Changes in a person’s character are not wrong. They are not illegal. They are not sinful. Changes lead to evolution. Changes help in shaping a man’s character. But I feel that those transformations that don’t modify the existing nature instead give a whole new personality, are not healthy. A person is judged by consistency of behaviour and by the amount of progress made and number of lessons learnt and applied after each episode of life. I would personally not respect one who has an up-side-down makeover of values, beliefs, likes, ideas, conduct and character after each stage of life. That is just unacceptable. I would most definitely lose face with a person like that, and may not even regret it. I guess, a little hard though it may be to lose a friend to changing times, the most practical and most sensible deed for Y would be to let go of X.

Another Killer

There are loads of things that kill people- slowly/instantly/painfully/painlessly. Very often, one finds these clichéd phrases.

Smoking kills.

Alcohol kills.

Tobacco kills.

Cancer kills.

AIDS kills.

Earthquake kills.

War kills.

Carbon-monoxide kills.

After a month in Bangalore, I have realized another potential cause of death.

Boredom kills people!At least it kills me! Slowly and painfully!

School life was full of studies n tests n music classes n hobbies like painting n playing basket ball n all. Never knew what boredom was.

My college life was delightful too. It was the golden period of my 22 year lifespan. (: P)Enjoyed every bit of it; though had some trouble in coping up when there were too many things to do all at the same time. Again there, I used to pray for a few minutes just to laze around. A few minutes to breathe, and not think or talk or do anything at all- just snuggle into my cozy razai in the dark silent room of mine, just staring into an imaginary abyss.But I hardly got a chance to do that back then; always running around at some pretext or another, though mostly, I enjoyed it all lot.

I never understood what my mom and my grand mom meant when they said that I was lucky to have my hands full. I always thought of how lucky they were with nothing to care about, no difficult schedule, no routine assignments or project meetings or tests and all. They had all the time for themselves!!But now, I see what they had always meant. With loads of things to do and so many places to be, I was actually alive. Now, though I have got what I might have wanted, the silence, the darkness, the nothing-to-do state of mind, I find that this huge dark bubble that seems to have engulfed my whole life has left nothing but a void space inside me; and is too much to bear.

People say- software kills creativity. I think boredom kills creativity. It destroys one’s enthusiasm to do anything. It murders one’s passion.I remember I used to state a number of hobbies before, I suddenly don’t feel like continuing any of those or pursuing any new ones. I feel so jaded, that I don’t understand what I should to the next instant. I am afraid this ‘boredom syndrome’ would last for ever.

Here is a huge list of the common day-to-day things that I m now bored of, and some I do bcoz I have to, and some I have stopped doing simply as I am bored rigid to do and some I no longer want to do as I am fed up of trying.

Ø Eating the same old

Idlys/dosas/vadas/pooris/rice/sambar/chappati/gravy/upma/pongal/pizza/noodles/bread/bun/biscuits/thattai/murukku/sweets

Ø Drinking milk/tea/juice/even water

Ø Sleeping

Ø Cleaning my house

Ø Bathing

Ø Combing my hair (that actually takes an awfully long time these days!)

Ø Of deciding which dress to wear

Ø Of searching for appropriate accessories for each dress

Ø Changing clothes while going out even to the nearest potti-kadai

Ø Going to malls for ‘window shopping’

Ø Seeing numerous couples: a senseless guy with some dumb straight-haired fair-skinned female laughing at stupid humor-less jokes

Ø Reading

Ø Watching movies/sitcoms/video songs in comp (since I don’t have a TV)

Ø Browsing through net

Ø Mailing/chatting/Orkutting

Ø Trying to find new friends through net and acquaint with them and start over from ‘hobbies/likes/dislikes’

Ø Endlessly crapping in the presence of an awkward company

Ø Listening to same old songs

Ø Singing/humming along

Ø Sitting in an air-conditioned room full of strangers wearing sweaters, wondering why they couldn’t just switch the damn ACs off!

Ø Trying to engage myself

Ø of feeling Bored!!

Ø My sick ever-annoying cold

Ø Nostalgia that seems to swallow me very often these days

Ø Going on long endless walks

Ø Ceiling-staring

Ø Cribbing n grumbling to

family/friends/cousins/acquaintances/strangers

Ø Thinking

Ø Worrying

Ø Dreaming

Ø Hoping for miracles

Ø Trying to do something useful, some feasible hobby

Ø Trying to think of something to study that could add to my useless resume

Ø Trying to think of my future/career

Ø Trying to find company to be, to sit n talk, to go out, to eat with

Ø Events taking a 180 ° turn (definitely not a favourable way!!)

Ø Things going totally out of control

Ø Trying to make the present place as comfortable as possible

Ø Making sense of confusing situations

Ø Reasoning out failures

Ø Correcting my mistakes

Ø Fighting with myself

Ø Consoling myself for being solely responsible for being in the present situation as I am

Ø All prayers going futile

As Elie Wiesel’s quote goes, “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” This ennui creates an indifference to everything. It virtually leaves the affected one tasteless, passionless and mindless. This lack of energy, enthu, concern, sympathy, creativity, imagination, dreams, satisfaction, love, faith is what I call, a road to death while living.