IRREVERSIBLE CHANGES

People change; especially after each important chapter in their lives. Some people change slowly n gradually. They analyze and modify themselves, a little here n there, to suit their present scenario. They forge their character the right way and chisel off some of their old dead ways. Yet, their basic traits remain the same.

There are some others who undergo a mutational transform in a new environment so that the new community doesn’t have to know the old them and thus, can start afresh in that new world, leaving back all the traces of their old beliefs, their old habits, likes n dislikes. These people, I believe, have a weak character. They do not really have faith in their own thoughts/beliefs/actions/habits/culture. They simply look at the crowd and just flow along. They don’t think of their past bcoz they don’t feel proud of it. They either are ashamed of it or they don’t have the guts enough to face the world with their true nature or they simply have loads n loads of inferiority complex and very less confidence on themselves. They generally try to blend with the crowd, blindly following the people they consider a role-model in the new place, not even pausing to think of the transformation that they are undergoing. They don’t keep in touch with their old friends, rather with anyone associated with previous life, especially those who were pretty close; close enough to know about them in and out, enough to know what they had been, what they had thought, what they had said and what they had done in their time together. They are either afraid that their history would come to front and cause embarrassment and shame in the new place or may be they just cant face their old friends as a new reformed person. They simply shut the door to past under some stupid pretext as not having enough time or resources to maintain drop a line. If you get to meet some of these people sometime in future, they don’t even dare look into your eyes while speaking! Duh!! How more uncomfortable could the situation be?!

Here is a simple theory: X and Y are thick childhood friends. X changes to X` after his/her college life and loses contact with Y, who is mutationally robust. Sometime later in life, when X’ and Y meet, X` obviously will not be comfortable with Y anymore bcoz Y was X ’s friend not (X`)’s. This could hurt Y but I guess that is how it has to be as far as X` is concerned. Y is a history to X`, just like X. X` doesn’t hate Y. X` is just indifferent to Y.

Changes in a person’s character are not wrong. They are not illegal. They are not sinful. Changes lead to evolution. Changes help in shaping a man’s character. But I feel that those transformations that don’t modify the existing nature instead give a whole new personality, are not healthy. A person is judged by consistency of behaviour and by the amount of progress made and number of lessons learnt and applied after each episode of life. I would personally not respect one who has an up-side-down makeover of values, beliefs, likes, ideas, conduct and character after each stage of life. That is just unacceptable. I would most definitely lose face with a person like that, and may not even regret it. I guess, a little hard though it may be to lose a friend to changing times, the most practical and most sensible deed for Y would be to let go of X.